My wife painted the bedroom over the weekend. A light shade of green, if you’re curious. I thought it was fine the way it was with its blue paint, white trim, and French cottage look to it. She said it didn’t flow with the rest of the house.
She was right, of course. The rest of the house is colored in shades of tan, cider, and different shades of green. The blue was different, but I didn’t care. I liked the difference. It was a soothing color and it was well done.
This wasn’t the first time she wanted to redo the room. She’s painted and repainted it three or four times now. She’s always looking for the elusive color to match the reddish carpet. We picked the reddish color because it was the only way to transition from the horrible 80’s era pink tile in the shower. (Personally, I think the shower curtain does a wonderful job of hiding it.) Now the carpeting has worn out and we have this chance to try again. Or, rather, she has the opportunity to change things again. I’ve noticed women like to do this.
They’ll work like mad to get things the way they want and after a year or two want to redo everything all over again. Before you know it, you’re debating curtain patterns and going from store to store in search of the perfect bed spread.
Men, for the most part, are different. Once we get things the way we want, we leave it alone. Why go through all the effort to change it? It works fine. Yeah if the living situation changes, like having a kid, then we’ll change things. It makes sense then. The living situation has changed. You have to make adaptations for it.
But change just for the sake of change? Why? If the furniture’s good and the appliances work, why put the money in new stuff when it could be better spent on other things like fixing up the car or going on a nice trip.
I think the old adage rings truer than known.
“A man’s home is his castle.” It’s a private place. Yeah, we have our friends over to see the “Lodge” or “Man Cave” but that’s to show off our stuff in it. Our treasures. It’s our place of rest and respite between adventures. Redecorating is tolerable as long as it comes in intervals of 15 years or so.
Women, on the other hand, don’t see a castle. They see a great hall used for family gatherings and entertaining. It’s also a showcase to display their natural artistic talents. Not only in what they’ve done today, but how they can change it around and keep it fresh tomorrow. It’s a personal expression of growth for them. Like them, it’s fluid and ever changing.
This can be hazardous, because one day they husband can come home to a place he doesn’t recognize as his. That’s every bit as bad as not letting the wife change things to express her changes as well.
They say marriage is a compromise. If you hold to that truth, then the best advice I have is to let the men hold on to a key item or make a key decision so they feel the castle is still theirs while you men let the women update her hall for the next gathering.