Breaking news! President Obama has announced today that not only will he balance the budget this year, but completely pay off the entire debt of the nation this year!
Heading up this historic project will be none other than Timothy Geithner, head of the Treasury Department. Here is an excerpt from his speech to the media.
“Ladies and Gentleman, a historic opportunity is upon us. We now have the ability to not only balance the budget, but also pay off the national debt. This bold project has been overwhelmingly approved by both sides of the Senate and House of Representatives. There will be no cutting of projects, nor will there be raising of taxes. In fact, this new program will spur our economy to new heights and create a new sector in the workforce.
It is called, ‘The Bitcoin Project’.
The Bitcoin Project or TBP utilizes the untapped potential of this digital currency in a way never before dreamed of. Through TBP we will pay off our debt by ‘Mining’ for Bitcoins and selling them throughout the world for hard currency. This hard currency will then in turn, be used to first balance the current budget and then soon after, wipe out the debt of the nation.
TBP will also erase the nation’s unemployment. No longer will we be at the mercy of business to create jobs for our people. Now everyone who is unemployed and able will be employed by the government as a miner for the TBP. OSHA is now looking into the safety regulations needed in such a project to protect the worker’s long term exposure to punching keys and staring into a screen. Special safety glasses and wrist braces might be needed.
But TBP will also be offered to students as a way to pay off their student loans. For every 10,000 coins farmed, 10% will go directly against their student loans before they come to term. This procedure applies to the principle of the loan before any interest has occurred.
So with our eyes on the future and our hands upon the keyboard. The Bitcoin Project will be known as our finest economic hour.
God Bless America.”